Hello Beautiful People!
It doesn't look like I have been thinking much lately since I havent blogged, well that is not true. I am now in Oregon living up the camp life and I can say that I am liking it here and loving the people. It has been a slow time in coming for Wildhorse Canyon to feel like home, but it is coming and today is my one month aniversary at the canyon. I have been learning tons about maintance, camp activities, Guest Services and camp life in general. What is going on in my head lately some might want to know...
Well I want to know as well. I really feel like I have been struggling on and off a lot in the last month internally with something. Something like not being content with people around me, which usually means not being content with myself. I have been feeling like I want to be right more than I normally do, which may or may not have been visible to others. I have been challenged a lot sinse I have been here to really lower my walls and really keep searching / learning... not just say I am always searching or even think I have it all together because I am searching, as if that means I've arrived already (that doesn't make any sense). But I need to be willing to actually let myself grow more than I have ever grown before. Because as I have read in one of the books I am reading this year with all the interns, Celebration of Disciplines by Foster, who quotes Thomas Merton "We do not want to be beginners. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all our life!" I think that is a impoprtant thing to remember in order to keep driving home that I have not arrived. We have had some conflicts and very hard discussions with the interns (14 of us) in the last month while we were trying to figure out what we want this year to look like (side note: so it is great to make goals but we can't predict what will happen and what God is going t odo with our lives), We talked about how are we going to handle conflicts and what has been ratlling in my brain lately is what my friend Shea said, "When we resolving conflicts and are argueing it can't be about who is right and who is wrong."
I feel like I have already seen major changes in my mind and in other interns as well. We are memorizing the first half of Phillipians 2 together as an intern group and this really hits it home and my friend Darren here really shared with us how it has changed his heart and I feel like he helped me really connect to this passage in my heart. Here is The Message // Remix version of it...
"If you have gotten anything from folling Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in commnity of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care- then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deepspirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand..."
Wow this is an awesome passage and so hard to live by. So much would be different if everyone lived this way. We are all so different and it really takes a lot of time to get to know people. I am still drawn back to the thought that it is not about being right. It is about being Love, about being Sacrifice. If I put others before myself then people will trust me more and they will want to hear my thoughts and they will want to know God more who has taught us all this.
With Peace and Love,
ME
1 comment:
hey bud - glad to hear that you're doing well and seeking to grow. i'm finding that it's really easy to be stagnant around here. to just sit at home and play games or read a book instead of going out and seeking to serve. i know that there has to be some "rest time," but not every night i'm not working, either. and i totally feel your words about not always having to be right (or in control!). it's hard to let go - especially with those around you. well, i hope to chat with you soon. gimme a call sometime, k? love ya, man!
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