Jan. 28th 2009 Journal

I thought that was a really good reflection on some of my thoughts and my group. I wrote this in my bed in the woods of the Rangers campsite at Cameron Boys Camp.

This is my home, the woods, and these chiefs (co-workers) and these boys are my family. The passion to be the best that we can be is going to change my life! These boys are pumped and excited about being the best and going home the right way. They are sick and tired of guys, who they have invested so much into, leaving before they are ready. They care for each other and want the best for each other - people see it, and I am beginning to see it. I am beginning to see what being a ranger is all about - what camp is all about - what life is all about.
I understand why these guys get frustrated when things aren't right "The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever" Isaiah 32:17. I am understanding some of my weaknesses, by some of the things they are calling out in each other. " Oh that is not that bad" I think to myself - I am just protecting my own weaknesses. Rangers are not going to let anyone stop them from being the best group they can possible be... the best group ever. I need my groups passion!
My co-Chief Adam told us about a friend Shane who once said to him "Oh he is just a new Christian, that passion will go away" Adam then grabbed Shane and said "Are you kidding m?! That is what you need man!" We should be excited like a new believer follower of Christ. My boy travis accepted Christ last night, or as he says it "I got saved last night," I dont like how that sounds for different reasons, but that doesn't matter. I need to be excited with him and for him and keep encouraging him! I am not excited because I fully don't know what it means to him and I do know that there is a lot more saving that God is continuing to do for him. And for me. That doesn't matter! I need to let myself be excited!
We had a boy go home for good this past week who was not ready to go home. We all knew he was not ready to go, but he convinced himself and his parents that he was. You should have seen the passion the group showed him to try to convince him to stay! It was very intense and not very gentle most of the time. One of the things that the group keep pushing him on was his lack of passion for anything. They kept pushing him to get passionate and let it show, but he didn't because he was taught to hold it in. He is just bursting inside because of this! He wont get passionate because he doesn't know how! I see a lot of myself in him in this area. I am very calm and patient, and I thank God for this gift, but I am also learning and reflecting on how this has been a weakness of mine. I need to get passionate about life, passionate about people, passionate about living life right to the full! I need to get passionate about being the best I can be and helping others do the same! I can't be lukewarm anymore! I can't let others ruin their lives if there is something I can do about it. and leave the rest up to God.